Just Call Me Beatrice

Okay, so.  This is the part of my time in Bang Saen that I swore you wouldn't believe without pictures.

I would ask, "Are you ready?" but it would be essentially pointless.  There is NO WAY you are ready for this.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wat Saen Suk.

WARNING:  THERE ARE SERIOUSLY DISTURBING IMAGES BELOW.  IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THESE, TURN BACK NOW.

"Catherine, you incorrigible little tease," you're no doubt saying right now, "that's just an ordinary Buddhist temple.  What's so special about it?"

WAIT.

So, Wat Saen Suk has some lovely sculptures. 

 

(I love the way the Buddhas decrease in size, all the way down to that tiny one next to the incense.)



There's also a strong Chinese influence in the design of the temple.



(Exhibit A:  This dude)



(Also, the Ghost of Christmas Present is here to welcome you to the toilets.)

"But surely there's nothing weird about any of this," you point out.

WAIT.

So, a little further into the gardens, you start running into sets of sculptures with themes.  For example, there are the twelve signs of the Chinese zodiac.



What's that?  You'd like a more specific horoscope?  Well, then feel free to consult the next row of statues - a set of twelve "saints" who also represent twelve different paths through life.  Walk back and forth down the row (left to right if you're a man, right to left if you're a woman) and count out your age, and the one you stop in front of will tell you your fortune.


(My fortune is to star in "Saturday Night Fever" while being eaten by a tiny dragon.)

Now, I know what you're thinking.  "Sure, that's pretty cool - but there's nothing about those photos that I would call unbelievable."   And maybe you're right.  Maybe you're all much more cosmopolitan than I am, and none of the statues at Wat Saen Suk would faze you.  After all, it's not like there's anything else lurking behind the -

HOLY GOD WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS.


(Oh snap!)

That's right.  Wat Saen Suk is home to the most bizarre thing you will probably EVER see in a Thai temple - a guided tour through Buddhist Hell.

And for reference?  The SMALL figures in the picture above are life-sized.  Think about that.

Clustered around the base of the huge, horrifying duo in the centre are figures depicting people who, for their sins, were given the heads of (ironically appropriate) animals in the afterlife.



Maybe it's just because these are the lesser sins, but this section is like a rabid environmentalist's dream - half the sins have to do with destroying nature, forests, or wild species.  This one is my favourite:



This is either the most terrifying, or the funniest, thing ever:



But the animal spirits get off pretty likely - well, not ALL of them...




But there's a lot worse to come.  Warning:  it's going to become pretty gruesome from here on out.  I know you've read this far, but if you're at all squemish, look away NOW.

This is the fate reserved for liars (fairly lateral thinking there):

Adulterers, on the other hand, get chased up a tree by dogs.  Huh?

This guy is just extremely skeptical.

 

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.

 

And this isn't even half of the sculptures - I held back a few of the really sickening ones, believe it or not.

You can get out of Hell through piety, though, as seen here, where one of the strangest congregations ever worship a Bodhisatva:

(Chombu made us pose for this one.  Dek Dek and I are not amused. :))

 

The rest of the temple was pretty cool, too - there were peacocks and fish ponds and three patron saints of writers, representing Imagination, Truth, and Genius.  (There was also a cat who consented to have his belly rubbed for about ten minutes, and then staged a protest against my attempting to leave by falling asleep on my foot.)  But nothing could quite compare to the Journey Into Hell.  Because seriously?  DAMN.  (No pun intended.)