P: If it didn't occur on the back of a motorbike, with a dog in the basket, then there's room for improvement.
Me: This is true. A chicken attacking a lantern, on a motorbike with four people and a dog, driving the wrong way with no lights down the highway with the driver on the phone AND drinking a bottle of Chang, the second guy eating noodles out of a styrofoam container, and the passenger at the back setting off fireworks. As they drive between a wat and a 7-11. There, fixed it. And they're going to a mookata.
M: No blindfolds, no gangnam style?
Me: Oh, shit, yeah! They're all blindfolded, including the dog, and Gangnam Style is playing.
P: And there's a baby. Preferably being breastfed.
Me: And not a helmet in sight.P: And there's a baby. Preferably being breastfed.
P: There'd be one, but it'd be hanging off the handle. Maybe one on the dog.
Me: One of the passengers should be snorting lines of MSG off the guy in front of him. Cut with chilli.
P: And all of their names are some variation of Porn.
Translation notes: This last bit refers to the fact that "porn" is Thai for "beautiful". There is actually a Porn electrolysis clinic (which, no lie, I thought was named that because they were promising to make you as attractive as a porn star), and a friend of mine has met people named Porn, Supaporn, and in one memorable instance, Pornsuk.
Obviously, you don't actually snort MSG, but we had a conversation some months back about whether cocaine would be more addictive with MSG in it. And they do love their MSG here. One of my colleagues says that a meal without MSG is like a marriage without love.
Finally, Chang is a cheap Thai beer. The mixture of nausea and regret that attacks the next morning after you've drunk too much of it is known as a Changover.
The More You Know!
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