Tuesday 21 January 2014

Countdown to Re-Entry: Mistakes

For your (hopeful) entertainment, I've decided to do a few "Countdown to Re-Entry" lists, cataloguing the awesome and the difficult things about the process of moving back to London.  Today's list:  "Mistakes I Know I'm Going to Make in London".

10.  Waltzing into M&S and kindly informing the cashier that it's okay, they don't have to bag my things for me!  Yup.  That's right.  They certainly don't.  (Bonus points if I attempt this in Thai.)

9.  Getting onto a bus, asking how much the fare is, then shaking my head and saying, "You're joking!  Do I look like a tourist?  I can do one-fifty; it's really close by!"  (Granted, I just looked up the actual cash single bus fare in London now to make this joke, and, "You're joking!" was my genuine reaction.  Yeesh.)

8.  Buying a bunch of Pot Noodles at the offlicence out of habit.  Yeaaah, not as cheap as pots of mama noodles in a Thai 7-11, and not nearly spicy enough.

7.  Wondering when someone's going to just come up and start helping me without my asking if I'm struggling with anything from a heavy box to a map, while people around me are actually averting their gazes politely because they don't want to presume.  (Or mocking me.  Either/or.)

6.  Peering between the lanes of traffic to make sure I don't get hit by a motorcycle while crossing the street.  Granted, it's a lot safer to be making this mistake in London than it is to make the corresponding mistake in Thailand, and not look.

5.  Believing that "let's meet at 7," means, "let's meet around 7.20-ish-maybe".

4.  Refusing to visit a public loo if I'm out of tissues.  Wait, what do you mean, they provide paper for you?

3.  Forgetting to cook or shop for food, under the assumption that I can always just pick something up on the way home.  Living on takeaway somehow isn't as sustainable in London...

2.  Assuming I can strike up a conversation on the street with anyone, especially anyone who isn't Asian, because hey, they must be travelers or expats like me!  Solidarity!  Nope; they were born here, and don't appreciate being asked, "So where ya from?" by an overly chipper American.

1.  Eating absolutely everything with a spoon.

And a bonus one:  Ending every sentence with "kha".  Maybe.  I mostly manage to avoid this in English, but if I try speaking any other language, like, say, French?  Hoo boy.  I learned that on my trip to Montreal last Christmas. :))

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